Bliss

If you were asked what Your “Bliss” is what would you say? And
then you’re told you can’t say your children or spouse would you know?

Most people say “I don’t know” once their kids and spouse
are removed from the allowed answers. I’ve also had moms tell me that it’s not
fair to remove them from the allowed answers since they’re supposed to put them
first. Where on earth did we as women get the idea that just because we become
wives and mothers we have to put others needs above our own. What is so wrong
with taking care of the individual woman before them? After all if we’re not
healthy and happy how is my family going to benefit?

I truly believe that following my “bliss” is the best thing
I can do for my family. The trick is following my bliss and balancing it with
those I share my life with. One of the ways I balance following my bliss is
working a split. I take my youngest daughter to work with me. I work for a
before and after school program and I’m able to have her with me. I come home
each morning and I spend the hours that my children are at school writing, working
on my photography and playing with my dogs, my bliss. I come home at six and I
spend the rest of the evening with my family. By following my bliss my girls
are seeing me follow my heart, dreams or what ever you want to call it. I am
showing them there is more to their mom and that there is more out in our large
world than being a wife and mom.

I will also admit that if I had followed my bliss at age
twenty I would not be where I am now at age 37. My bliss back then was to
travel the world, write and become a famous rock star. I put my bliss aside to
attend college because that’s what I was supposed to do. Then I met my husband
and married him at 20. I hadn’t planned on being a mother at 23 but it happened
and I put my bliss aside because that’s what I was taught to do by my mother. By
the time I was 27 I had my second child and I lost my mother to a heart attack
and I was smacked with the realization that what my mother taught me was not
right for me. Putting others needs above my own while it’s admirable, I believe
it’s wrong. I don’t believe I can have it all and do it all myself. I believe I
can have what I need and want if I balance what is truly important and ask for
those around to pull their collective weight.

Now that my children are 10 and 14, I no longer wash and put
away their clothes. My 14 year old has done her laundry for the last four years
and my 10 year old has been doing hers for almost a year. They are no longer
able to blame me for nothing to wear. They both have two to three other chores
to accomplish through out the week. By them picking up some of the house work
they help me. Their chores take them no more than 10 or 15 minutes a night, it
frees me to cook dinner (grin to DH) and spend my evening with family instead
of dusting or vacuuming. My children are learning responsibility and how to do
things for themselves. Their help around our home helps me better balance our
lives so I can follow my bliss.

Until next time I hope you find all you’re searching for.